Gay people in Vietnam are struggling to overcome social prejudice and family opposition to live true to themselves and find happiness, heard a workshop held in Hanoi last Friday.

Actor Thai Hoa plays a gay man in the film De Mai Tinh (Fool for Love). Gay people have to struggle to overcome social prejudice and family opposition, a workshop heard last week. — VNS File Photo

Tung said he had wanted the counsellor to help him find ways to explain to his mother his sexual orientation and make her accept the fact, but was otherwise disappointed because the counsellor did not understand anything about homosexuality.

“She said we had to wait until I reached 28 years old to be sure whether I was gay or not, which led my mum to believe that I could still become “normal”, added Tung.

Tung is not alone in facing his family’s denial of his true sexual orientation. Many other LBGT people also expressed their desperation in persuading their family to accept their sexuality. Le Van (not his real name), another gay youth, was even locked at home once after his family found out he was gay.

He said his family’s opposition pushed him to seek counselling as he wanted to find the courage to confront his parents.

According to an online survey conducted by ICS with 1,020 respondents, 78 per cent of those surveyed had sought counselling to find help for their problems revolving identity confusion, social prejudice and relationship problems. Among them, nearly 30 per cent were forced into counselling services by their families because their parents wanted to find a cure for their homosexual status, which was seen by them as a disease.

Counsellors at the workshop said strong social prejudice against homosexuals was a major challenge to the quality of counselling services offered to the LGBT group.

Quach Thu Trang, an official from the Centre for Creative Initiatives in Health and Population (CCIHP), said in some cases, the counsellors themselves even showed prejudice against homosexuals, as they were not equipped with proper knowledge about homosexuality. Some of them believed that gay people became homosexuals because of the influence of Western media or even the environment (for those who live mostly near people of the same sex) and could be “cured” to become heterosexual.

A recent study conducted by the Institute for Studies of Society, Economy and Environment (iSEE) with 3,231 gay people revealed that about 15 per cent of the correspondents have been reprimanded or insulted by their families, 4.5 per cent have been attacked and beaten and around 4 per cent faced problems with landlords or roommates, all because of their sexuality.

Counsellors and social activists at the workshop asked people to stop viewing homosexuality as a disease and to respect the LGBT group’s needs and rights.

According to Nguyen Van Anh, director of the Centre for Studies and Applied Sciences in Gender – Family – Women and Adolescents (CSAGA), also a counsellor from LinkTam, a counselling centre for lesbians, the suicide rate of LGBT was 13 times higher than that of heterosexual people. She said out of thousands of lesbians who called her centre for advice, 10 per cent had attempted to commit suicide and the remaining 90 per cent had considered it. A major reason for those intentions was social discrimination.

Le Huu Anh, an officer of the Ministry of Public Security who researches crimes against homosexuals, said the legal force should join hands with society to ensure the rights of homosexuals.

He said the law needed to update regulations specifically stipulated to protect homosexuals from discrimination and violent behaviour.

Nguyen Thu Huong (not her real name), whose son is gay, said she hoped for sympathy from society and understanding towards gay people like her son.

“Gay people are as normal as everyone, they are only different in their feelings, they need to be respected and protected,” Huong said in tears.

Huong added that teenagers should be given special attention as they were often the victims of bullying at school.

“We should ensure that young homosexuals grow up well without being isolated, or else it will be too late”.

Huong’s statements mirrored the concerns of other mothers in the same situation who attended the workshop.

The workshop was organised by CCIHP in co-ordination with iSEE, ISC and Rutgers World Population Foundation.